Caregiving vs. Caregifting...Mindset is key

This selfcare thing starts with a mindset. It's the first chapter in my book. Now I know on the surface these two words seem synonymous but energetically they are not. Many of us are natural caregivers. It's a reality for many of us to have the responsibility of taking care of children, partners, and even extended family such as our parents. For the sake of this message, giving means energy being pulled from you without refilling your cup. See, when you give in this manner you will deplete yourself and burn out...quick!

What most of us are doing is giving and giving and giving often times stemming from feelings of guilt, obligation and shame. Obligation is a biggie when it comes to giving. I am really sorry caregiving has taken on this negative tone, I certainly didn't mean for it to be this way but the poor term has been abused and its time to address it. The definition of giving is to freely transfer possession or to hand over something with no boundary and that, my friends, is a dangerous place to be.

Now, lets put ourselves in the mindset of gifting. A gift is something you willingly give to someone...I know you are saying, "but that sounds like the same thing." just stay with me. A simple mindset change is all it takes to turn things around. When you give a gift to someone you decide on what, how much, when, where, the wrapping are in charge of how that gift is given.  When you set boundaries early on you take your caregifting to another level.  Decide that you will gift a certain thing, in a certain way to a certain person including yourself! See what I just did there? You have to include yourself in the gift giving

If you are a caregiver to your children and you take them to the park, gift yourself the same exchange. If you care for your family and you make sure everyone eats and gets sleep...please do the same for you. It's simple but not always easy but it gets easier as you practice

If you need a bit of inspiration, please join our community, if you are already with us share and invite. Several people, including myself, have been rockin out my "To Do" List as well as finding out how to effectively use the list by watching this YouTube video I recorded.

The Key to Meditation: Make the Grocery List

So I was talking with one of my massage clients and she starting asking me about meditation. Now I have only been meditating regularly for about 2 years but there are some things I've learned along the way. The biggest thing I've learned is that any practice whether it's Yoga or meditation or any spiritual practice is that it's YOUR practice. Do it your way customize it to fit your lifestyle and personality.  She told me her biggest obstacle with meditation was clearing her mind. She said, "I just can't seem to quiet my brain." I told her then don't. She gave me a strange look so I went on to explain.  Say you get comfortable, light a candle blah blah blah and then all you can think about is the grocery list you keep putting off making? That's when I told her to just make the grocery list! She laughed but I was very serious if that's what it takes to move forward then make the grocery list during your meditation obviously its something that you feel you need to do and your mind keeps reminding you to stop putting it off. Find comfort in knowing that at the end of your session you will have completed something that needed to get done.  Here's the deal...its your life make it as simple as possible there are already a bunch of things swirling around you all the time. I told her the more she practiced getting quiet the easier it will become.

What SelfCare is NOT

Self-Care is the deliberate and intentional actions a person initiates to care for one’s own physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing.  My short answer is putting you first.  The great thing about incorporating a self care plan is that it’s totally customizable…your plan is like no one else’s. So you make the rules for creating it.

Self-Care is NOT your yearly birthday, anniversary, mother’s day, Christmas massage you get and hurry up and use before the gift certificate expires so you don’t hurt the gifters feelings…sound familiar?